With so many tech fans anxiously awaiting the drop of Apple’s newest iPhone, the tech giant has stepped up to reveal a key feature of their upcoming product: Apple has announced that the iPhone 15 will notify you when it’s time to throw it into the sea.
Yes! This is so awesome!
Earlier today, company insiders confirmed the rumor that Apple’s newest mobile device will come with an alert that will notify users when it’s time to say goodbye to the constant onslaught of bullshit on their phone and just chuck that thing into the sea for good. The notification will reportedly appear whenever a user gets more than five notifications in a minute, receives an email from their boss between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m., or gets a text that says “Hey! Just following up,” from someone they were clearly trying to ignore. Although most details about the iPhone 15 are still under wraps, insiders say that the notification will offer two possibilities for a response: 1.) an option to dismiss the alert, and 2.) immediate directions to the nearest large body of water via Maps.
This totally rocks!!
Although Apple has long offered stopgaps for people who feel uncontrollably, helplessly addicted to their phones, such as the “Do Not Disturb” setting and the ability to outright delete an app, with this new feature, they’ve answered the pleas of iPhone users who know that the only rightful course of action after visiting the same person’s Instagram page three times in one day is to throw their phone into a lake and finally get one goddamn moment of peace.
Plus, this stands to be an incredibly profitable move for the company, as recent data trends show that most users will last three, maybe four hours without a phone before inevitably returning to the Apple store to buy a new one.
So epic. This is seriously a must-have for any iPhone user who has ever felt defenseless against their daily nine hours of screen time. Sound off in the comments if you’ll be getting the iPhone 15 after hearing about this feature!
