Holy shit. Whoa. It seems like today might just be your lucky day: there’s a vacuum cleaner just sitting right out in the open at this yard sale, and nobody’s paying attention, so you could probably just take it without paying.
Sweet! Fortune is truly smiling down on you.
In what’s looking to be a once-in-a-lifetime score, there is a lightly used name-brand vacuum cleaner sitting completely unattended, and the woman who’s running this yard sale is busy chatting with a neighbor on the other side of the yard, essentially leaving the vacuum totally up for grabs. Though a green sticker on the vacuum’s handle says the price is $35, the forces of fate are practically screaming “FREE TO A GOOD HOME,” as rarely in life do you encounter such a perfect opportunity to steal something.
Seriously, can you believe that this incredible gift from the universe just fell into your lap?!? As long as you act casual—maybe look around at some of the other stuff for sale first to establish yourself as just another ordinary customer—you could seamlessly blend into the steady flow of traffic moving in and out of the yard sale. And making things even easier, your car is parked directly out front, a mere 20 feet away from the vacuum. That’s all there is between you and this pretty nice vacuum cleaner, which looks way better than the one you have at home. Piece of cake!
The yard sale lady probably won’t even realize the vacuum is stolen until she closes up shop later in the day, if that. And judging by her house and property, it doesn’t seem like she’s exactly hurting for money, so it’s not like you’d be taking food out of her mouth or anything. And she looks like she’s in her late 60s, so even if she sees you taking the vacuum, what could she possibly do about it? She’s obviously too old to chase you. You could probably look her dead in the eye and say, “Old woman, this vacuum cleaner is mine now,” and she wouldn’t do jack-shit. Not worth it for her. Plus, you’re generally a good person who works hard and donates to charities, and you deserve nice things every once in a while. You deserve this vacuum cleaner.
Wow, what a nice surprise. Today, the stars have aligned in your favor.
Okay, it’s the moment of truth. You might never encounter an opportunity this incredible again. Live with no regrets. Take the vacuum. This is your destiny. Godspeed.
