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ClickHole Is Updating Its Privacy Policy

Here at ClickHole, user security is not something we treat lightly. That’s why we want you to know that we are beefing up our privacy policy so everyone feels safe and comfortable when visiting the site. Rest assured, the exploitation of your information is something ClickHole takes incredibly seriously, as our entire business model depends on it.

The following updates are effective immediately:

By accessing ClickHole, you agree that the world wide web is an exciting place where anything is possible.

If law enforcement ever requests your data as part of a criminal investigation, we will immediately say “sure” and turn it over and then amongst ourselves mutter, “Yeesh, wonder what that was about.”

ClickHole already has a picture of your hands, even if you’ve never visited ClickHole in the past.

To ensure user privacy, must be accessed while hiding underneath a blanket.

If you have not explicitly told ClickHole your height and weight, we reserve the right to guess.

We keep our user data secure in an Excel spreadsheet called “Data” inside a folder called “Folder of Data.”

ClickHole will never use information regarding your current location to show you more relevant content unless there’s a Checkers near you, you’ll thank us for abusing that data after one bite out of a Big Buford burger, goddamn, Checkers rules, it’s a real shame all their customers are white trash or else we’d be there every day, seriously you can’t roll up to a Checkers without seeing a bunch of aggressive dudes in guinea tees cleaning their pickup trucks in the parking lot, Checkers should do something about it because they’re up there with the big dogs of fast-food dining and they don’t get enough credit for it.

ClickHole is now free, and all automatic charges to ClickHole readers’ bank accounts ($5 per article) will cease as of May 25, 2018.

ClickHole is a website for people and people only. DO NOT SHOW TO MULE.

ClickHole reserves the right to harvest your name, email, phone number, and financial information, but we are only doing it to try to figure out if you use earplugs. All we want to know is how you feel about earplugs. Please just tell us and then we won’t have to log all of this data about you. Thank you.