Things have been pretty smooth and uneventful for 11-year-old Michael Gardner on his family’s 18-hour road trip to South Dakota so far, but unfortunately it seems that disaster is imminent now that he’s about to watch the funniest part of Nacho Libre with a very full bladder.
Stuck on a long stretch of highway with no rest stops for miles, Michael is undoubtedly regretting his decision to drink nearly an entire two-liter bottle of blue Hawaiian Punch over the course of the last hour, especially knowing that the hilarious scene where Jack Black’s sidekick throws corn at a villain’s eye is coming up, which makes him laugh so hard that he more or less loses all bodily control. Further tempting fate, Michael is resting his iPad on his lap, putting undue pressure on a lower abdomen that is filled to the bursting point with urine. Now beginning to squirm and sweat a little in his seat as he struggles to maintain agency over his bladder, it’s becoming increasingly clear that he won’t be able to withstand Nacho Libre’s unyielding onslaught of physical comedy and gut-busting one-liners much longer before the pressure becomes too much to bear and he depletes his massive reservoir of piss all over the backseat of his dad’s Ford Focus.
Yikes. If only Michael had used the bathroom at the gas station 40 miles ago like his parents told him to instead of just playing Pokémon Go in the parking lot, he wouldn’t be in this dire situation. His only hope now is to swallow his pride and ask his parents to pull over so he can pee on the side of the highway—otherwise he doesn’t stand a chance.
Hang in there, buddy!
