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Finally! A Bathroom Lock That Lets People Know Whether You’re Actually Using The Bathroom Or Just Need A Fucking Minute

We can all agree that public restrooms don’t have the best reputation, but they are finally getting a much-needed upgrade. For decades we’ve been stuck with doors that only displayed “Vacant” or “Occupied.” That’s all going to change thanks to the new lock that can be set to “Need A Fucking Minute” if you just want to be left alone for a goddamn moment.

It’s about time!

Whether you’re going in the restroom to sit on the toilet sobbing, stare into the mirror and tally regrets, or simply rest your head on the cold tile walls, these locks make it easy to announce that you need a motherfucking minute so maybe just cool it with the knocking for fuck’s sake. With the old locks, people might have assumed you had some kind of stomach bug if you locked yourself away in the bathroom, but now they’ll know that you’re just at the end of your rope. Fantastic!

Imagine how useful this lock will be next time you’re an emotional wreck. Maybe you’ll be bummed out after learning that an elementary school teacher of yours died recently. Perhaps it’ll be after browsing an ex’s gallery of wedding photos on Facebook. Or possibly you’ll just be having a day. It’ll be wonderful to simply shut the bathroom door and not worry about people knocking and asking what’s taking so long in there. They’ll know you’re miserable, or just crying for no goddamn reason, with a single glance.

So much yes. This is the kind of innovation we’ve needed for a long time. Pretty soon, you’ll be able to lock yourself in a bathroom and take all the time you need, knowing the next person in line is well aware it’s only because you’re so fed up with life that it gives you a dull, unrelenting ache in the pit of your stomach and if you had to look at another person’s mottled, sweaty face for even one more fucking second you’d start murdering whatever living thing you could get your hands on.

Share if you also can’t wait for these awesome new locks to roll out!