Do you have trouble feeling motivated? Can’t find the inspiration to live up to your full potential? That’s a struggle Dan Hertzfeld, 33, of Brookline, Massachusetts, was all too familiar with—until now. By all appearances, he’s officially ready to quit pissing his life away and get serious: This man just jolted up out of bed at 3 a.m. to write “NO MORE EXCUSES” into his Notes app.
Wow! This is all the proof you need to know this guy finally found that dog in him!
Say goodbye to the Old Dan, who always had high ambitions for himself but never took any meaningful action to achieve them, and say hello to the New Dan, who pledged “NO MORE EXCUSES” in his Notes app at 3:03 a.m. after spending several sleepless hours hyping himself up to start eating healthier, working out, and setting aside an hour every day to work on a script idea he’s had for six years but never started. Though it’s true that Dan has felt this random surge of life-altering motivation while trying to fall asleep on at least a dozen occasions in the past—even just last month, when he wrote out a small to-do list, with bullet points such as “run”, “buy fruit (berries, apple)”, “read 1 hour”—this time? It’s for real.
Truly, this three-word Note is Dan’s own Moses on the mountaintop moment, a personal code of honor that he will live by forever, effective immediately at 7:30 a.m. sharp, which is the new alarm time Dan set for himself during his rush of inspiration. Old Dan would absolutely have snoozed that alarm six times minimum, but not New Dan. Nope. New Dan gets up when it’s time to get up. New Dan doesn’t make excuses. New Dan doesn’t waste a second of his precious life. New Dan gets it done, starting tomorrow.
In fact, this is the last night Dan ever touches his phone after hitting the hay, because it’s finally clicked for him that having his phone so easily accessible on his nightstand is the cause of his sleep issues, which contribute to his low energy levels during the day, which are exacerbated by his poor dietary decisions, which prevent him from thinking clearly at his job, which is why he never is in the mood to work out after work, etc. etc. Dan has figured out his entire life in the four hours he’s spent unable to fall asleep because he drank Monster Energy at 5 p.m. like he swore he wouldn’t the night before. And now that he has a Note reminding him not to make excuses anymore, Dan won’t make the same mistakes ever again.
We’d say best of luck to this man, but it doesn’t look like he’ll need it if this Notes app oath is any indication. Here’s to the beginning of the rest of your new, improved, totally fulfilled life, Dan!
