Press "Enter" to skip to content

Here He Comes: The Nude Man Is Coming Down The Conveyor Belt

Get excited, everyone, because the event we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived: The nude man is coming down the conveyor belt right now as we speak.

Yay! Here he comes!

For the first time in years, the nude man has chosen to grace us with his presence, and we simply could not be more delighted. With his wide grin, adorable potbelly, and wise, unblinking gaze, there is truly no sight more joyous than the nude man slowly approaching on the conveyor belt at 1 MPH, merrily saying “Hello!” over and over again to no one in particular. We don’t know where he comes from or why he’s nude—all that matters is that he’s here and that he’s smiling at us, filling our hearts with joy. 


The nude man’s arrival is a very special occasion, and there’s no right or wrong way to celebrate it. Join the happy crowds in greeting him with rousing ovations, or scurry forth with the schoolchildren to present him with gifts of plums and jellies. Or, should the spectacle leave you overcome with emotion, feel free to take a knee and observe the nude man in quiet reverence. However you choose to take in the moment is up to you—it is only asked that you avoid joining him on the conveyor belt, as this would present a safety hazard to both the nude man and yourself. 

Wow. Anyone else have goosebumps? What a blessing it is to see the nude man!

Be sure to savor this, ladies and gentlemen, because the conveyor belt does not stop, and once the nude man passes, there’s no telling when we might see him again. Cherish each and every moment he’s with us, but do not shed tears of sadness when he leaves. Just be happy that he was here, albeit briefly, and wish him well on his journey ahead, for we know it is an important one. Best of luck, nude man. We adore you with all our hearts.