No matter how horrible something is, there’s always a way that it can be even worse. Case in point: This Everest climber froze while in the middle of rubbing Rogaine on his bald spot.
Oof. This is not the way a guy wants to go out.
While it’s sad enough that 43-year-old climber Johan Larsson froze to death a mere 800 feet beneath the peak of Everest on his third attempt to summit the mountain, he suffered an even greater indignity than simply failing to achieve his goal and dying young: He froze while in the midst of applying a huge glob of Rogaine foam to the prominent bald spot atop his head. Whether removing his hat to apply the topical baldness cure and exposing his bald head to the freezing temperatures exacerbated the hypothermia that killed him is unclear, but what is clear is that approximate 800 climbers a year will now have to step around Johan’s frozen, Rogaine-applying body in order to make it to the top of the tallest mountain in the world.
Had Johan died while applying Rogaine to his bald head almost anywhere else in the world, he would have rotted away within a matter of weeks, leaving no trace. However, this humiliation occured on Everest, where the average temperature even in summer is below zero degrees Fahrenheit. His body will be permanently frozen and his facial features, Rogaine bottle, and ID badge will be perfectly preserved for all eternity. There’s no doubt that “Rogaine Guy” will soon become a haunting landmark on the climb to the top of Everest, much like “Green Boots,” “Saluting Man,” and “Sleeping Beauty” before him.
Damn. It’s really too bad that Rogaine has to be applied daily in order for it to really work.
There are approximately 200 bodies on Everest, but only one froze in the throes of fighting his male pattern baldness. Maybe one day a climber on Everest will freeze to death while shaving their ass or stuffing their bra or something and Johan won’t look so bad in comparison, but for now, we are so glad we aren’t him for so many reasons. Dying hours before achieving your lifelong goal is already pretty bad, but the whole Rogaine thing makes it so much worse.
