According to recent data, today’s teens are having sex at half the rate teens in the 2000s were, and sociologists expect the downward trend will only continue. Clearly, something’s changed—a confluence of social media addiction, social isolation, and mental health issues is chipping away at our youth’s ability to form romantic connections. I find it deeply concerning, and I refuse to just stand by and do nothing while our nation’s adolescents opt out of those crucial, formative experiences with sex and relationships that should come standard with growing up.
So, is there anything I can do to help increase the number of sexually active teenagers in our country?
I’m willing to offer whatever time, resources, and support I can to get more teenagers having sex with each other. If there are any organizations dedicated to pushing America’s teen sex rate back up to its previous heights (if not higher), I’d love to volunteer with them, and if there aren’t any, I’d be happy to start one. Perhaps starting at a local level is the best way I can get involved with this cause. Maybe that means opening my home to teenagers in search of a safe place to have sex with each other, or knocking on doors around town to remind and encourage my community’s teenagers to have sex together. I’d sign up for any and all of that. Just let me know.
I believe I’m uniquely qualified to help boost America’s teen sex rate. While I don’t have any teenagers of my own, I have had sex before. And back in 2004, I organized an open mic night that raised over $200 for tsunami victims in Sri Lanka. Also, I currently have a lot of free time on my hands. I’d hate for my background with sexual intercourse and fundraising, as well as my general availability, to go to waste when I could be wielding them to help a generation of teenagers become far more sexually active than they are right now.
Even if just one teenager becomes sexually active because of my efforts, that would be worth it.
For what it’s worth, I go to the gym regularly, so if there’s anything I can physically move out of the way that would make more space for teenagers to explore each other’s bodies, I can definitely assist with that, no problem. I don’t know if there are any large objects that have become obstacles to teens having sex, but I figured I’d mention it just in case.
Though I’m no billionaire philanthropist who could get millions of teenagers fornicating by simply writing a check, I’m not afraid to put what money I have where my mouth is. I’d happily purchase liquor and pornography to distribute among virgins at the high school in town, or I could go a more direct route, and simply offer two local teens $100 to have sex with each other. Maybe my company would agree to sponsor a college scholarship annually awarded to teens who graduate with 20 or more sexual partners? I’ll ask my boss tomorrow. I’m not sure where my money would be most effectively put to use, but I’m all ears and ready to donate.
It pains me to think that there aren’t hundreds of thousands of 13-to-19-year-olds having sex at any given moment in this country. Every teenager that’s alone on their computer right now instead of having sex in a car or under bleachers or in the woods behind my house is an American tragedy. Hey, I’m just one person, but if it’s in my power to make a very sexual difference in the lives of high schoolers across the United States, then it’s my responsibility as their fellow American to do my part. Any and all advice for how I can help would be appreciated. Thank you.
