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Kissing Is Sex

Some friends and I were exchanging stories yesterday when the topic of kissing came up.

“We went back to her place and kissed on her couch,” said my friend, whom I’ll call John. “That was all, though. No sex.”

Kissing, but not sex? Let’s not mince words here, “John.” Kissing is sex. And the fact that no one corrected you only confirms our culture’s backwards views on the issue.

I don’t care who you are, or where you or your romantic partner is from—when you’re kissing each other, you’re having sex. A kiss on the cheek is sex. A big smooch on the arm is sex. Making out is French kissing, which is hardcore sex. Kissing your own hand isn’t sex, but kissing someone else’s hand? That’s sexual intercourse.

Making out is French kissing, which is hardcore sex.

Now, I understand there are real gray areas regarding whether something strictly counts as “sex.” It can be unclear, like when two people take off their hats and rub them against each other, or touch their hands together while licking their lips in synchrony. Unfortunately, you must resolve such ambiguous edge cases on an instance-by-instance basis.

When it comes to kissing, though, the truth is clear: That’s sex. And if you don’t agree, you’re obstructing progress. It’s time to get the message out: When people engage in anything that either of them views as kissing—be it Eskimo kissing, videotaped kissing (i.e., pornography), drunk kissing, kissing while fucking, kissing pictures of each other, imaginary kissing, or kissing-of-the-teeth—then those people are having sex.

It means they’re in love.