Get ready for some good news, because it looks like one of the world’s most twisted killers has had a serious change of heart and is ready to start making a positive impact on the world: Freddy Krueger is making up for his violent past by showing up in people’s dreams to help them with their taxes.
Absolutely heartwarming! It’s wonderful to know that Freddy Krueger has finally realized the error of his ways and turned over a new leaf.
“Last week I had a dream where I was wandering through a version of my neighborhood where none of the houses had windows, and Freddy Krueger emerged slowly from behind a topiary carved in the shape of my dead father and filled out all of my tax documents,” said Michigan woman Katherine Somerville. “When I woke up, I received an email from the IRS letting me know they had received my documents and that I would be receiving one of the biggest refunds I’ve ever gotten.”
Katherine isn’t the only person who has received tax help from Krueger in their dreams. Over 400 people across the country have reported having a dream in which they found themselves in an abandoned carnival or deserted boiler room where they encountered Freddy Krueger, who proceeded to help them through the process of filling out all of their tax documents thoroughly and accurately. When these people woke up, they found that their tax returns had really been filed with the IRS.
Uh, we’re not crying, you’re crying! This is officially the most uplifting story we’ve read all month.
John McSherry, who owns a used bookstore in Lincoln, Nebraska, says that just two nights ago he had a dream that he went to visit his mother in her apartment, only to find Freddy Krueger lying in her bed wearing one of her dresses along with his trademark brown fedora and bladed glove. “Freddy Krueger jumped out of my mother’s bed and said, ‘Mommy’s not here right now, dearie. I’m the babysitter,’ and then he started cackling while wiggling his razor blade fingers,” says John. “I started screaming and screaming as Freddy began examining my W-2 and filling out my 1040 form. I woke up in a cold sweat, and a few days later I got a letter from the IRS telling me that they had received my tax returns and that I was getting a pretty big refund. I’ve never been so happy to have my dreams invaded by Freddy Krueger.”
This is so great! Invading people’s dreams to help them with their taxes won’t bring back all the people Freddy Krueger killed, but it’s a step in the right direction toward healing the harm he caused during his days as a psychotic murderer. With so much evil in the world these days, it’s beautiful and inspiring to learn that people can change for the better. Hats off to Freddy Krueger for putting in the work to put his violent past behind him and focus on making the world a better place.
