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Need Something To Do Today? Here Are 5 Extremely Easy Ways To Ruin My Life

Hey there! If anyone is looking for something to do today to help pass the time, they’re in luck! I thought up 5 really easy ways someone could completely ruin my life. None of these will take too much effort, but I guarantee that any one of them will totally destroy me. So let’s say goodbye to boredom and get started here!

1. Log into my Facebook and screen cap all of the messages I’ve been exchanging with my ex.

My Facebook password is Coldplay694m and there’s a ton of completely inappropriate messages between my ex and I there that can easily be used to ruin my life. If you’re looking to make your day a bit more interesting, all you’d have to do would be take some screen caps and send them to my husband or post some of the explicit photos publicly somewhere and my life will totally be ruined instantly! I’m pretty sure I talk trash about every one of my friends and coworkers in there too, so it’s a great source of some serious ammunition for ruining my life for people who are bored and looking for something to do today.

2. Kidnap my son.

Here’s something a tad more interesting to do today than binge-watching an old season of Scrubs: ruining my life by kidnapping my son, Luis. He goes to Shady Oaks Middle School and the password we use in case someone he doesn’t know needs to pick him up from school is ‘Ant Man.’ He loves comic books, so I’m sure he wouldn’t need much coaxing to be kidnapped if you offered him a fat stack of superhero comics. I love my son more than anything, so having him be kidnapped would absolutely ruin my life, even if the kidnapper just, like, brought him to a hotel and let him eat McDonald’s and watch TV for a while. Just an idea of something to try if anyone out there is bored.

3. Hit me with my car.

Here’s some advice to anyone just sitting around trying to think of something to do: how about you get up off the couch and run me over with my car? It’s the grey Subaru parked outside my house. I’ll leave the keys in the ignition if someone wants to swing by and run me over with it. I love that car, and I love my bones, so you can totally kill two birds with one stone by ruining both of those things for me, and thereby ruining my life.

4. Put all of my pets to sleep.

Pause that YouTube video of some guy being shot out of a giant crossbow or whatever and listen up: if you’re hard up for activities tonight, what about putting all my pets to sleep in order to ruin my life? I’ll leave the door unlocked and leave some cash to cover the cost and everything, just open a can of tuna and they’ll all come running. There are few things that would be more devastating to me than knowing all of my beloved animal companions have been needlessly euthanized, so if y’all are looking to ruin my life to break up the monotony of your day, this one’s a sure bet.

5. Post all of my financial information on the dark web.

Hit me up at [email protected] and I’ll hit you back with my routing number, PIN number, social security number, all of my credit card numbers, plus every password and login I have. It will take mere seconds to upload all of that stuff to the dark web and have every penny I have cleaned out and my credit rating destroyed, which will leave my life in absolute ruin. With these 5 awesome options for ruining my life today, you have no excuse to be bored. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and destroy my life!