A Redditor recently asked r/OutbackSteakhouse, “What’s your worst experience doing arson on an Outback Steakhouse?” and some of the responses make it sound like burning down an Outback Steakhouse doesn’t always go as smoothly as one might hope.
- One time I burned down what I thought was an Outback Steakhouse when I didn’t have my glasses on. The next morning I was watching the news and I discovered it had actually been a TGI Friday’s, which is my favorite restaurant. I was so pissed off. I’m never burning down an Outback Steakhouse without wearing my glasses ever again. u/DoctorFeelbad21
- I burned down an Outback once and it turned out my parents were inside. u/SickSickSick1
- So my friend Jerry was supposed to meet me behind Outback at 2 a.m. sharp with the gas. 2 a.m. comes and goes and I’m like, what the fuck, where’s Jerry? I keep texting him and the texts keep turning green like his phone is off, so I’m like, well shit guess I need to go get some gas myself and let this shit rip. I get to the gas station, and I shit you not, Jerry is there burning down the gas station. I said, “Jerry, what are you doing? You were supposed to be at Outback an hour ago.” And he gives me this confused look and looks at his watch and he’s like, “Dude, did you forget it’s Daylight Savings Time?” and I was like “ohhh shit dawg, my bad.” Unfortunately the fire at the gas station got out of control while we were talking and Jerry died in the fire. u/SteveLyndon1984
- The third time I burned down an Outback I got some gas on my pants. Otherwise it usually goes ok. u/TheOutback_Kid
- I was planning on burning down an Outback Steakhouse to prove my love to my girlfriend and then propose to her. So we pull up in my car (I had taken the license plates off and everything) and I pass a ski mask to my girlfriend and say, “Put this on.” Right away he’s like, “What are you doing, why do you want me to wear this?” and starts being a big bitch about it. I’m like, “Sweetheart, trust me, just put it on. It’s something fun.” But she won’t put the damn mask on. So finally I just throw the molotov cocktail through the window, Outback goes up in flames, the alarm starts going off, and I get down on one knee, take the ring out, but honestly, with the way she was acting about the mask and everything I got the ick really bad. I just ended up throwing the ring into the fire and driving away and she ended up going to prison because she wouldn’t wear the mask and got caught on camera. Worst night of my life. u/ClevelandMomOf4
- A waitress at Outback had insulted my penmanship, so I planned on burning the place down so she would know not to mess with me. Things couldn’t have gone more wrong. The lighter I brought didn’t work (thanks, Bic), so I tried using the cigarette lighter from my car. Well, apparently they don’t even put cigarette lighters in cars anymore, it’s just an outlet now. So I’m on YouTube watching these bushcrafting videos of guys rubbing sticks together and shit making fires in the woods and I’m digging around in my trunk for some sticks but then I have the idea of hooking my jumper cables up to the Outback Steakhouse and burning it down that way. So I pull up to the front door and attach my jumper cables to the doorknob and start my car up. Nothing. Now, I should mention that Outback is open right now, it’s about 6 p.m. on a Friday night so it’s pretty packed in there, so I didn’t want to be right out there on the sidewalk revving my engine with my jumper cables hooked up to the Outback Steakhouse for too long. People were going in and out of the door so the jumper cables kept popping off. I mean eventually it finally worked and the place burned down and everything, but it was such a hassle. u/GusLovesFlossing
- I’ve been burning down Outback Steakhouses for the last 12 years. Never had any problems until last Friday. So, I ran into an Outback Steakhouse, doused myself in gas, screamed, “This is my favorite steakhouse! This is an act of love!” and I lit myself on fire. But most of the damage was to my flesh and hair and stuff, it barely burned down the Outback Steakhouse at all. u/SufferingSilence3
- I showed up to burn down an Outback Steakhouse and there was already a guy there burning it down. I checked the app and the next nearest Outback Steakhouse was 83 miles away. So I just went home and masturbated to the news coverage of the other guy’s fire. Not the same. u/UhOhSpaghettiO
