Press "Enter" to skip to content

Responsible Journalism: The Washington Post Has Thrown Out Its Sushi Buffet After It Found Out The Nude Woman It Was Lying On Was A Project Veritas Reporter

After an undercover affiliate of the conservative think tank Project Veritas was caught attempting a sting operation to discredit The Washington Post’s reporting on Roy Moore last week, the paper has been hyper-vigilant to make sure Project Veritas doesn’t infiltrate its operation again. And now it looks like that vigilance has paid off, because yesterday afternoon The Washington Post threw out a sushi buffet that had been delivered to their office after they found out the nude woman it was lying on was a Project Veritas reporter.

Wow. Other news organizations take note: THIS is how you practice responsible journalism!

According to The Washington Post, the paper’s journalistic process and intense vetting allowed it to deduce that the nude woman covered in sushi who was delivered to its office just 24 hours ago was not, in fact, an employee of a nude sushi delivery company, but rather an undercover employee of the conservative think tank Project Veritas who had been sent to discredit the Post by attempting to surreptitiously record evidence of the paper’s lack of ethics.

Immediately after discovering the young model’s true identity, employees of the Post had no choice but to throw out all 200 pieces of sushi, eject the nude woman from their office, and expose the incident to the public.

“At approximately 12:30 yesterday afternoon a nude woman covered in sushi was delivered to our office who, after extensive background checks and supplementary reporting, our paper has confirmed to be an employee of Project Veritas conducting a sting operation on our publication,” said an article in today’s Washington Post exposing the undercover smear campaign. “While our staff was enjoying sushi from her naked body, this undercover Project Veritas employee attempted to use her iPhone to inconspicuously record incriminating soundbites from our staff, and once we had uncovered her true identity and intent, we had no choice but to throw out all of the sushi, even though it was delicious.”

The Post article also details the ways in which the naked sushi model attempted to ingratiate herself to the staff by claiming to be trained in the Japanese art of nyotaimori, or “body sushi,” even though she repeatedly broke the nyotaimori sacred vow of silence by asking reporters leading questions about the editorial mission of their paper, including whether or not they “hated” President Donald Trump, and whether or not they ever accepted money from liberal donors to run stories critical of the president. While the journalists were extremely hungry and eager to eat the delicious sushi in front of them, they followed their rigid guidelines for vetting sources and immediately began investigating the inconsistencies in the woman’s account of her career as a nude sushi model.

Ultimately, Post reporters say they had no choice but to throw out more than $600 worth of gourmet sushi covering the woman’s nude body after they called the Japanese restaurant she claimed to work for and learned that it had no record of delivering a “Sea King’s Feast” to the office, even though that was what she insisted that particular sushi platter was called. Their worst suspicions were confirmed when the restaurant informed them that it had just delivered a large platter of sushi to the Project Veritas office, and that the contents of the order exactly matched the sushi the Post reporters were now eating from the undercover reporter’s body. That was more than enough evidence to expose the sushi model as a Project Veritas agent to swiftly throw all the sushi directly into the trash.

Check and mate, Project Veritas! You just got shut down by some of the best reporters around. If you want to come after The Washington Post, you’re going to have to step up your game, because it just proved that it has some of the most unshakeable journalistic integrity in the industry!