Though Joe Biden won’t be in the Oval Office for much longer, the sitting president is still working as hard as ever to secure his legacy: President Biden is spending his last month and a half in the White House attempting to become the first president to push a cup off a table with his mind.
Wow. President Biden is truly making the most of every minute he’s got left as POTUS!
For the next six weeks, Biden will be laboring day and night to shove a disposable cup off the Resolute Desk with nothing but the power of his mind, an accomplishment that would make him the first president in US history to nudge a cup off a desk using telekinesis. Aides close to the president say that Biden has cancelled a majority of his meetings to sit and stare at the cup, often training his focus on it for six or more hours at a time. These aides say that Biden maintains total silence during his sessions, except for when he occasionally barks “Cup move now!” or “Flee my desk!” in an attempt to catch the cup off guard.
The cup has only moved a tenth of an inch so far, and President Biden has frequently fallen asleep while directing every ounce of his concentration on the cup, but he’s assured reporters that he’s going to keep trying, even if he must work at it until the very last minute of his term.
“Make no mistake, I plan to finish what I started,” Biden told reporters this morning while keeping his wide open, bloodshot eyes on the cup. “If January 20th comes and this cup isn’t on the floor next to this desk, you can consider my presidency a failure.”
If President Biden claims this achievement as his own before Donald Trump is able to, you can bet that Trump will be livid!
President Biden is determined to get the job done, no matter how little time he has left as leader of the free world, and that’s something Democrats and Republicans alike can respect. If he can get this cup to fall to the floor with nothing but his mind powers, it will be an utterly historic moment for our country. Best of luck, Joe!
