All right, there’s no need to panic and log off when you hear what we’re about to say, but it is something we want to bring to your attention so you can keep it in mind while you continue surfing the Internet: The happiest days of your life probably don’t involve going on the computer.
Sorry, but that’s just true. We don’t mean that today’s going to absolutely suck for you, but there’s a good chance that it’s not going to be all that great.
Think of it this way: you’ve been spending like, 10 hours a day on the computer for two decades at this point, and pretty much all that time has just been spent scrolling around aimlessly or reading random crap, most of which you can barely remember at all. Maybe there was one really fun day that stands out in your memory from when you were younger and you were watching early YouTube videos with your friends, but for the most part, being on the computer is a sign that your day is going to be an average, barely memorable wash.
You know that that’s the case, don’t you? We shouldn’t have to tell you this.
If you’re hunched over a computer somewhere, you’re almost certainly not doing the kind of thing you’ll remember on your deathbed, like standing at the altar next to the love of your life, holding your child for the first time, or even just having a nice time at the beach. Honestly, the best thing you can hope to do on the computer is make a post that a bunch of dumb strangers retweet a thousand times, which might result in a mild feeling of accomplishment, but not much more than that. You could argue that there’s an exception if you’re the type of scientist who uses the computer to make earth-shattering discoveries that could change the course of human history, but let’s be real—if you’re looking at our website, is that really what you’re up to?
Yeah, probably not. Sorry you’re here, then.
The good news is that not every day can be one of the happiest days of your life, so you might as well spend the other ones on the computer. Since you’re already on our site, why not take this chance to play our awesome quizzes and clickventures? Sure, it’s not the same rush as say, hang gliding, or volunteering, or going on an incredible first date, but it’ll fill up a couple hours of your time. Enjoy!