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Space Flight Setback: SpaceX Has Lost A Falcon 9 Rocket After It Landed In A Mean Old Neighbor’s Backyard

Elon Musk and his SpaceX team just experienced a pretty devastating catastrophe that could set them back months or even years. SpaceX technicians have reported that one of their Falcon 9 rockets has landed in a mean old neighbor’s yard, and so it’s basically lost forever.

It’s safe to say that any giant leaps for mankind are going to be put on hold for a while.

The disaster took place earlier this morning when, according to digital diagnostics, a loose bolt in the Falcon 9’s second-stage rocket core breached a liquid-oxygen fuel tank, causing the rocket and its multi-million dollar payload to veer drastically off course and land in the yard of the reclusive and belligerent John Haberman, an elderly neighbor that SpaceX officials have described as the meanest, scariest man in the world.

“Due to a technical failure, our Falcon 9 rocket has ended up in John Haberman’s yard, and it will stay there because going over his fence for any reason is complete suicide,” Musk said in a press conference addressing the disaster. “Our technicians have determined that no part of the Falcon 9 can be salvaged from Haberman’s yard, and that even attempting to do so would result in Haberman screaming at us or worse. The most we can do now is move on, keep our eyes on the glorious future of space travel and mankind’s destiny to one day explore the cosmos, and try to make sure that all future rockets are kept far away from the Haberman place, because several engineers on our staff have heard that his basement is filled with the skeletons of kids who got too close to his porch.”

Knowing Musk’s determination and persistence, he probably won’t let this major setback keep him down for too long, but it’s safe to say that going forward, SpaceX is going to be taking every precaution it possibly can to make sure it never has to watch another rocket sail over Mr. Haberman’s fence. With too many more disasters like this, SpaceX might not be able to recover.