It’s high time someone put these one-percenter fucks in their place. Tell these billionaire pig-people to eat shit by using the sliders to make their shirt sleeves way too long.
Elon Musk
It’s simple. You hoard wealth and don’t pay your fair share of taxes? We’re going to let all our readers make your sleeves extremely long, and you’re just gonna have to sit there and let it happen. You’re gonna look like a toddler in a grown man’s suit jacket, and everyone’s gonna say, “Wow, he looked pretty weird already, but now he looks even weirder.” Get bent, creep!
Jack Ma
Jack Ma’s net worth is about $42.3 billion. Un-fucking-conscionable. To help him get it through his small, cheeseburger-shaped head that it’s objectively evil to hoard such a massive fortune while billions around the world are suffering, why not add an inch to his sleeves for every $1 billion he has? And then add some more! Today, the Have Nots take the Haves down a peg, one impractically long sleeve at a time.
Mark Zuckerberg
Good luck coding your little website to further exploit people’s personal data while your long-ass sleeves are dragging on the floor behind you, you techno-bourgeois pig! You clammy, unblinking sociopath!
Warren Buffett
If this was a country that actually cared about eradicating poverty, wealth like Warren Buffett’s wouldn’t be possible. Stick it to this money-grubbing ghoul by making his sleeves so long it erases his clout and no one will want to take his financial advice ever again.
Jeff Bezos
The Bezos fortune grows year after year while everyday people are struggling to make ends meet, and the people in charge of this country aren’t going to do a damn thing about it. Take matters into your own hands. Make the richest fuck in the world’s sleeves so long that they drag behind him like a wedding dress. He can’t buy his way out of this.
Tyler Perry
Think we forgot about your $1 billion net worth, Tyler Perry? Wrong. Dead wrong. Make an example of this Hollywood big shot for all the wannabe moguls out there. Shame him right back down to earth by making the sleeves of his luxurious suit dangle long and flaccid like gross old-man dicks. Today, the power is in your hands, and there’s nothing these bloated yacht-goblins can do about it. Suck it, rich fucks!
