Summer comes with its own code of conduct for browsing the web, so as the new season begins, let’s refresh ourselves on the rules and regulations of summertime internet use.
Wear sunscreen
Computer rays are incredibly powerful in the summer. Protect yourself with sunblock, and avoid looking at the computer screen to prevent damage to your eyes.
Quiet hours start at 11 PM
Please respect your fellow internet users by keeping it quiet during late-night hours.
Do not use the internet during thunderstorms
Doing so may explode your local power grid.
Take all of your clothes off before going online
Not only does this help keep you cool in the hot weather, but it also keeps you safe, as loose clothing can easily become stuck in your keyboard and result in strangulation.
If you want to swim, do it here
Clean up loose sand
Don’t leave sand all over the internet. Grab a broom and clean up after yourself.
The internet will be closed every Tuesday
Get outside and soak up the sun! Wakeboarding, anyone?
If you see a dolphin, say hello
You’re not the only one using the internet this summer, so if you see a dolphin, whale, or fish, feel free to give them a polite greeting.
Do not attempt to use the internet if you are pregnant, elderly, suffering from a heart condition, or have experienced diarrhea within the past 14 days
We cannot emphasize this enough. It’s not worth the risk.
And as always, NO PORNOGRAPHY
Just a reminder that pornography is forbidden during all seasons except winter.
