They make it seem easy, but moms have big secrets. We dare you to read their heartfelt confessions without getting a bit emotional.

1. Deborah Phelps, mother of three

“I constantly lose my children in the grocery store—nine or 10 times per visit. It seems like maybe this is what God wants, for them to be grocery store kids, so I plan to stop looking for them.”

2. Judee Valentine, mother of one

“I tell my son he gets to eat hamburgers for every meal, but in truth I’m feeding him a wide variety of things. He now just thinks ‘hamburgers’ means ‘food.’”

3. Marlene Ramirez, mother of two

“When my kids were going through puberty, I told them it was a result of the outstanding overseas box-office returns for Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.”

4. Laurie Archibold, mother of one

“When I get very stressed, I imagine putting my beautiful son, Charbon, in a boat, and pushing the boat out to sea.”

5. Pam McIntosh, mother of two

“I think my son’s bully makes some good points.”

6. Janice Stahelski, mother of two

“Back in the day, I would sometimes dress up like a teenage boy named Tyler and sell my son weed. I would always have to rush home and change back into my mom clothes before my son arrived. I’d scream at him all night for buying weed. Then I would confiscate it and sell it right back to him the next day.”

7. Kim Zolciak, mother of two

“I’m Kim Zolciak. It’s gonna really freak ’em out when I tell them.”

8. Denise Nielsen, mother of two

“When it was time to have the sex talk with my kids, I gave them a binder that catalogued every orgasm I ever had and said ‘Good luck having as many orgasms as me.’”

9. Leah Stanwick, mother of three

“When I was pregnant with my daughter, I would draw little crosses on my stomach with a marker to make sure she would come out Christian. It worked.”

10. Keira Elliott, mother of one

“I tell my daughter she has wonderful little cheeks, but it’s a lie. I think all cheeks are terrible.”