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This All You People Deserve: Here Are 2 Gulls

Sorry, this is all we’re giving you right now. Go to a different website if you want something else. We owe you nothing. 

Welp, here you go. Here’s a regular ol’ seagull for you to look at. What, were you expecting more? Do you think it’s the internet’s job to constantly provide you with entertainment free of charge? Sorry, that’s not the case. Sometimes you’ve actually got to earn things in this life. And you honestly haven’t done anything to earn this unremarkable picture of a gull. We’re paying all the money to license and host it—you’re just mooching like always. Fuckin’ cyber-leech. 

Here’s another ugly-ass bird for you to look at. We could have ponied up for some cooler bird pics for you to look at, but what’s in it for us, y’know? No matter how hard we work to make quality content for you, you always give us jackshit in return. So why go out of our way to give you nice things? As Mom always used to say, if you don’t like what’s for dinner, then you can go to bed hungry. Just be grateful we’re giving you pictures at all, as there are kids in China who would kill for the type of mindless internet content that we get to enjoy every day under a free press. If you want to look at something nicer than these gulls we’ve provided for you, go make it yourself. Be a goddamn grownup.

Okay, that’s all from us for now. You don’t deserve anything else. Adios, you freeloading motherfucker.