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This Is What Happens To Your Body When You Meditate

Everyone’s meditating! Devotees will tell you it’s the best way to harness and refine your mental faculties. But how does it actually work? Here’s a breakdown of all the physiological changes that go on inside you during a meditation session.

Your tongue goes back inside its nest: The tongue returns to the nest it has built inside your throat during meditation.

Your memories become hair: Ten minutes into meditation, your brain begins to purge painful memories and pushes them out of your head in the form of hair.

Birds show up: If you’re meditating correctly, all the birds you’ve ever met will show up.

A scientist touches your brain: As soon as you enter deep meditation, a scientist will appear and poke you straight in the brain.

Your frontal lobe shuts down, resulting in an inability to pitch a perfect game: The part of the brain that’s responsible for major motor functions slows down during meditation, severely hampering your ability to pitch a perfect game.

Your brain emits the same wave frequencies that open garage doors: Twenty minutes into proper meditation, the brain’s beta waves drop down to the same frequencies that open garage doors.

You temporarily leave your own body, enter a different, better body, live 89 years, die, and return to your old body: As your muscles become more relaxed, your mind is free to leave your bad body behind as you live out an above-average lifespan in another, better body before returning to your old body, fully relaxed.

More bones: People who meditate grow many, many more bones than people who don’t.