ATTENTION SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE: Please close this tab IMMEDIATELY, because it’s time for someone else to get a little love! That’s right—ClickHole is officially dedicating this one to the absolute train wrecks out there who can’t get their shit together no matter how hard they try. So failures, put your goddamn hands up, because this list of marmosets goes out to all the fuck-ups!!!
Everybody likes to forget the fuck-ups. They put ‘em out of sight, out of mind, like earth’s just one big winner’s circle of happy people thriving. But not us. Not ClickHole. We recognize there are plenty of dyed-in-the-wool hot messes out there, waking up at noon on sheets that haven’t seen a washing machine since Christmas, and you know what? This lounging black-tufted marmoset is for them AND THEM ONLY!
Today is the fuck-ups’ day to enjoy a heaping helping of inquisitive New World monkey species, so MARK IT ON YOUR FUCKING CALENDARS! We’re not here to give anybody shit about the relationships they blew or the jobs they couldn’t hold down. God knows they’ve got enough people riding their ass as it is. We’re just here to say, “Yo, fuck-ups, check out this goofy little marmoset. Doesn’t he seem personable? Isn’t he handsome?”
Special shout out to the fuck-ups that started off strong but crashed and burned Hindenburg-style!!! Whether you’ve been fucking up since the day you flopped ass-backwards out of the womb, or you only discovered self-sabotage later in life, this adorable family of common marmosets is just our way of saying “Let’s raise the damn roof, fuck-ups!”
We knew this fuck-up back in the day, Zack. A real fuck-up’s fuck-up. Awful credit, only seemed to wear sweatpants, best damn Smash Bros. player you ever met. Probably watched him shoplift a couple thousand Slim Jims over the years. He told us once that being a fuck-up is like waking up every day behind the wheel of a shitty Honda Accord going 35 MPH towards a hot dog stand. You know you’re gonna crash, and you know it won’t be bad enough to kill you, so you’re gonna live to deal with the consequences too. All you can do is roll down your windows and grab a snack for the wait until the cops show up. Here’s a marmoset that kind of looks like Zack. May it be a beacon to him and all other fuck-ups who see it!!!
Whoops, this picture is technically of tamarins instead of marmosets! Guess we fucked up! SOLIDARITY!!!
And finally, here’s a marmoset specifically for fuck-ups who have fucked up in a way that involved purchasing or operating a boat!!!!! We know you’re out there! Stand tall, and NEVER STOP FUCKING UP!!!
