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What Are They Planning: This Couple’s Wedding Registry Is 7 Cages And A Gun

If you’re invited to Paul and Kristin’s wedding in Boston this summer, you might want to consider going off registry for their gift, because the only things on their Zola listing are seven different cages and an AK-47.

Huh? What the hell are they gonna use those for?

Where couples typically use their wedding registry to stock up on items like silverware or linens that they’ll use in their new shared home, this pair is asking for seven rusty cages—all apparently sold via Crate & Barrel—that do, frighteningly, look large enough to house at least a person each. The fact that their registry also includes gun—an automatic weapon, no less—makes RSVPing “attending” a little scarier, so some clarification as to what they’re planning on doing with this stuff would definitely be helpful.

Maybe they just already have enough plates? They’ve already been living together for a while…

Guests who are uncomfortable with purchasing a cage or a gun for the couple also have the option to donate money directly to a fund titled, “Help Us Build A Tower,” which, crucially, could use an explanation too. Paul is an accountant and Kristin is a paralegal—seriously, what are they planning?

Damn. Here’s hoping the couple provides some answers soon, otherwise we wouldn’t be surprised if a good number of their wedding guests suddenly find themselves unable to attend.