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Yeah, We’d Certainly Fucking Hope So: The Prerecorded Message You Have To Listen To When You Call The Doctor Announces ‘We’re Aware Of The Ongoing Situation Around Covid-19’

Get ready to shake your head and mutter “Yeah, we’d certainly fucking hope so,” because there’s pretty much no other way to react to the following story: The prerecorded message you have to listen to when you call the doctor announces, “We’re aware of the ongoing situation around Covid-19.”

Cool, great. Glad to hear the goddamn doctor is aware of goddamn Covid-19.

As though it’s, like, week two of this shit and not week, uh, 150, the message that automatically plays when you call to schedule an appointment at the doctor’s office begins by stating, “We’re aware of the ongoing situation around Covid-19 and are operating in accordance with CDC policy.” Okay, first of all, being aware is pretty much the absolute least you can do. In April 2020, homeless people were all wearing masks on the street, and they don’t even have houses where they can watch the news, so you’d really think that by November of fucking 2021 that your doctor would have a little more to bring to the table. 

You know there’s a vaccine now, right? And they’re even doing booster shots for it? 

If anything, the doctor should actually have more information than you do, since they can presumably comprehend science journals and that kind of shit. Shouldn’t they be able to be like, “Due to our data projections, we suspect that the rate of viral antibodies present in new strains of the virus is on track to decrease exponentially…” or whatever? Is “we are aware” seriously all they can offer?! 

Goddamn. Best case scenario here is that they recorded this a year and a half ago. But even then, is a doctor’s office that can’t be bothered to change the message even a good doctor’s office? Are they gonna accidentally slice off your finger or something? Honestly, just go find some other doctor. There’s no way this one is up to snuff.