There’s nothing wrong with having a refrigerator when you’re young and just starting out in life. But as you get older, you might find you need to say goodbye to that fridge in favor of a full-blown mattress. So, are you ready to make the leap? Here are five surefire signs it’s time to put your old refrigerator out on the curb and head to the nearest mattress store.
1. There’s nowhere soft to put your turkey: Refrigerators are made of hard materials, like metals, glass, and plastics. For a young person, that’s not necessarily a bad thing—a fridge is a sturdy, reliable appliance that’s fine for your 20s. But as you get older, you might start to notice your refrigerator has one major design flaw—no soft place for a turkey. If you’ve ever wished your fridge had a memory-foam surface that comfortably aligned to your turkey’s natural contours, it’s probably time to swap that fridge for a mattress like a real adult.
2. You’re sick of having to open a door just because you want food: We’ve all been there: You get home after a long day at work, you’re starving, and all you want is some food from the fridge before you curl up to sleep in the tub. And then—bam. You remember that you have to open the entire refrigerator door just to get a simple snack. Sure, you were willing to put up with it in college, but now you’re a real grown-up. A mattress has no doors, making it the perfect place to lay out all your food for quick, easy access, and it even doubles as a place to sleep. Welcome to adulthood.
3. You can’t sleep at night because you’re anxious about your food being cold: If you find yourself tossing and turning every night on your kitchen’s cold linoleum floor, worried that the food trapped inside your refrigerator is getting too cold, it’s probably time to grow up and leave the refrigerator life behind. Imagine the peace of mind you’ll feel as you crawl into your new bed surrounded by your food, knowing it’s all being kept at a comfortable room temperature. Yeah, hate to say it, but your parents were right about this one all along.
4. You find yourself using your crisper drawer to store linens: In your younger years, you used your refrigerator’s crisper drawer to store things like produce, meat, cheese, maybe even a six-pack of beer or two! But a lot has changed since then. Nowadays, that crisper drawer is exclusively for blankets, sheets, and other assorted linens, because you have no mattress to put them on. You might as well face it: You’re getting older. If your refrigerator is slowly turning into a makeshift linen closet, you’re better off trading it in for a real bed.
5. Your refrigerator is currently on fire: If your refrigerator bursts into flames, don’t tell yourself you’ll just deal with it later. You’re past the age where it’s okay to ignore something like that. If left unchecked, a fridge fire could eventually spread to your couch, dresser, lamp, or even your television. The minute you notice your refrigerator ablaze, drive straight to your local mattress store and ask if they have any deals on a mattress that isn’t on fire at all. You’ll be glad you did, and some mattress stores might even take away your old, burning refrigerator, completely free of charge.
