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5 Yo-Yo Tricks To Bounce Back With After Saying Something Prejudiced

Discriminating against others is a great way to bring any conversation or social situation to a grinding halt, but thankfully, there are ways you can recover after you’ve made a biased comment. Here are 5 yo-yo tricks that will help you bounce back after saying something prejudiced.

1. Walk The Dog

Picture this: you’re at a cocktail party, laughing, chatting, and schmoozing with the best of them, when suddenly you open your mouth and say something like “foreign countries suck” or “I strongly prefer a male President, because men are simply better leaders.” Everyone around you freezes in shock at your prejudiced comment—until you wow them with a classic Walk The Dog. Once your fellow partygoers realize that you have the ability to make your yo-yo look as if it is walking on the ground in front of you, they won’t be thinking about your prejudice. They’ll be thinking about your yo-yo!

2. Breakaway

Espousing negative opinions about say, Southerners or the asexual doesn’t have to be a social death sentence if you know how to do a Breakaway, throwing your yo-yo so that it glides in impressive, controlled tangents off to the side of your body. A Breakaway is a perfect way to punctuate a bigoted statement of yours—because bigots are dour, evil people who want to keep oppressed people down, and you’re a fun, interesting person who can make their yo-yo jump around in dazzling ways.

3. Around The World

Sometimes you might say something bigoted about someone’s race, gender, or sexuality while they are in earshot, which can be hurtful. But that person’s hurt will only turn to delight when you savvily execute an Around the World, making your yo-yo loop in circles like a Ferris Wheel. Your xenophobic, homophobic, or sexist remarks will fade quietly into the background while the person you offended with your hurtful comments is mesmerized by your otherworldly yo-yo abilities.

4. The Flying Saucer

If you’re planning on saying something prejudiced at an upcoming social gathering, you’re going to want to learn to turn your yo-yo into a horizontal, floating Flying Saucer STAT. Here’s how it works: You offer some judgmental thoughts on poor people or go on a diatribe about immigrants, then you throw your yo-yo in such a way that it spins on its side like a UFO. Your social standing will increase dramatically, no matter how prejudiced your comment was!

5. Loop The Loop

You may find yourself in a situation where you’ve said something so prejudiced, something so ignorant and cruel about an oppressed population, that you barely have a friend in the room. That’s when it’s time to bring out the Loop The Loop, a yo-yo trick so impressive it will help you bounce back like, well, a yo-yo! If you’ve looped your yo-yo back and forth a few times and people are still upset with you after that, you’re going to have to vacate the premises, because you’re clearly among people who don’t see reason. That’s how much we can guarantee the Loop The Loop will save your prejudiced ass time and time again!