Where would you be without her?
1. Teach you how to eat blueberries: Your mom’s from a different generation. She knows nothing about blueberries. Luckily, your big sis is there to lead the way.
2. Act as a human bridge across a small stream: Any stream that stretches 5 to 6 feet wide? Yeah. Your big sister can be a human bridge across that.
3. Tell you which parent is going to die first: She might get every other prediction wrong, but you can always count on your big sis to nail whether your mom or your dad is gonna kick the bucket first.
4. Give you the red side of the watermelon: You get the red parts and she gets the green; that’s just how it’s always been with you and your sis.
5. Give birth to your guitar teacher: Doesn’t matter how well he shreds or how cheap the lessons are—if your big sister didn’t birth him, he’s not guitar teacher material.
6. Pull your carriage after the horses have died: After the horses have perished on the trail, leave it to your big sis to don the harness, chomp down on the bit, and keep you rolling right along.
7. Shake your hand: When everything in your life is going wrong, sometimes all you really need is for your sister to take your hand in hers, shake it up and down, and say, “Delighted.”
