Since the beginning of time, people have been making movies that are somehow related to the Soviet Union. Every day of our lives thousands of movies get made that involve the Soviet Union in some way. If you are one of those lunatics who demands proof of this, we will provide proof: Here are eight movies that take place in the Soviet Union, or where someone says “Soviet Union,” or where it looks like someone just woke up from a dream about the Soviet Union.
1. Solaris (1972)
A big chunk of Andrei Tarkovsky’s sci-fi masterpiece Solaris takes place in outer space, but some of it also takes place in the Soviet Union. One of the reasons the movie takes place in the Soviet Union is because Andre Tarkovsky is from the Soviet Union. Another reason is that the Soviet Union is enormous.
2. The Hunt For Red October (1990)
This beloved action movie was directed by a human male and all the characters in it are obsessed with the Soviet Union. At one point one of the characters even straight-up says the words “Soviet Union” on a submarine. The reason all the characters are obsessed with the Soviet Union is that they read in a magazine that you can eat sushi there.
3. Pride And Prejudice (2005)
Pride And Prejudice was directed by Jane Austen or her son or something and it’s too long and it’s too scary. Nobody should watch it because they will scream and they will get bored. However, one of the best parts of it is when the character Mr. Darcy first appears and it’s incredibly obvious to everyone just from looking at his face that he’s just woken up from a dream about the Soviet Union. Pride And Prejudice takes place two thousand years before the Soviet Union was discovered, so it’s an amazing and beautiful mystery about how Mr. Darcy was able to dream about it, but that’s just one of the things that makes the movie so scary.
4. Rocky IV (1985)
Rocky IV is about a man who hates the Soviet Union so much that he decides to punch a man who was born there. It is a loud movie and it is too confusing for you to understand what it is about, but one of the most amazing parts is that multiple characters in the movie say the words “Soviet Union” more than five times. Even though you will never be able to understand the intricacies of Rocky IV, you can still watch it to listen to people say “Soviet Union” sometimes. It was directed by Lester.
5. Battleship Potemkin (1925)
It’s impossible to know what is happening in this silent film because nobody says anything for the whole time. However, there are several bugs and vegetables in the movie that are clearly from the Soviet Union. Thus, there is strong evidence that Battleship Potemkin takes place in the Soviet Union. It might also take place somewhere else. Nobody talks, so it’s impossible to know. The movie was directed by a nerd, and he died before anybody could ask him where the movie took place.
6. The Lion King (1994)
Disney’s beloved animated masterpiece The Lion King takes place at Dale’s house, which is not in the Soviet Union. However, the character Rafiki spends the entire time with a big look on his face that is unmistakably the look of someone who has just had a dream about the Soviet Union. In multiple interviews about The Lion King, Disney CEO Bob Iger has confirmed that in every scene with Rafiki, he has just woken up from a dream where he went to the Soviet Union and met Brezhnev. In Rafiki’s dream, Brezhnev asks Rafiki, “Do you hang out with Simba?” and Rafiki says, “I don’t even know who that is.” Then Rafiki wakes up screaming. The Lion King was directed by Rafiki and written by Lester.
7. Jurassic Park (1993)
There’s a scene where they feed a cow to a T-Rex and right before the cow gets eaten it mumbles the words “I was born in the Soviet Union.” The rest of the movie is not worth watching because it is about dinosaurs. Dinosaurs are not important, only doctors are important.
8. The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
This movie, written by legendary screenwriting partners Yoda and Chewbacca, is famous for its unflinching examination of sex and death in Moscow. There is also a scene where Darth Vader hangs out with his son. The movie’s Moscow setting isn’t The Empire Strikes Back’s only connection to the Soviet Union: It was also directed by Stalin, who went to college near the Soviet Union.
