Working as an elected official can often be a thankless job, but one of America’s longest-serving politicians just received an incredible show of validation from Heaven: God has rewarded Mitch McConnell’s decades of faithful service as a U.S. Senator with an absolutely incredible wet dream!
Awesome! After all these years of hard work, it must be so fulfilling for Sen. McConnell to finally receive an erotic dream from the Almighty Himself!
Last night, while McConnell was sleeping, the Lord God in Heaven recognized his tireless dedication to the American people by blessing him with a dream where he was on a bus sitting next to a mummy and the mummy was waving a bra around in the air like a flag. God knew that the most erotic things in the world to McConnell are mummies and bras, and sure enough the dream caused the Senate Minority Leader to ejaculate right on the spot!
“For many years, Senator McConnell has been proving that even my most selfish, craven, and weird-looking creatures can still find success in politics, and I felt that this should be rewarded with erotic visions in the night,” the Lord God Almighty told the press. “I would have given him a wet dream with two mummies in it, but I know that if Mitch McConnell ever had a dream about two mummies, he would become so aroused that his heart would explode.”
What a wonderful way for the Almighty to remind McConnell that he’s valued and appreciated!
“I’m so grateful to God for sending me the sexy dream about a mummy holding a bra last night,” an emotional McConnell told the press this morning, wearing the special Garfield tie that he always wears to work any time he’s had a wet dream the night before “Sometimes I feel like nobody appreciates the work that I do for the American people, but receiving a divine nocturnal emission from the creator of the universe Himself is such a special reminder that my many years of service for this country have all been worth it.”
Congratulations to Mitch McConnell on his incredible wet dream! Hopefully this amazing story inspires our nation’s other elected officials to continue working hard so that one day they, too, may be treated to a stunning wet dream courtesy of the Lord. Our hats are off to God for showing Mitch McConnell some love, and we can’t wait to see what the Almighty does next!
