With so much violence, bigotry, and death running rampant across the globe, it can sometimes seem like there’s absolutely nothing to be cheerful about. But an uplifting new report is bringing a little bit of sunshine into this dark and scary world: The American Society For Microbiology just announced that all those tiny little guys are doing just fine.
Wonderful! It’s so nice to hear some good news for a change.
Following an extensive multi-year study into the wellbeing of Earth’s smallest life forms, a panel of leading microbiology researchers from around the country have concluded that the world’s trillions of microscopic organisms—including bacteria, fungi, and the cheerful little protozoa—are continuing to swim around and be very small and are just having a great time eating each other and bumping into each other and splitting themselves in half in order to make replicas of themselves. Despite the endless suffering facing humanity and the profound destruction of natural habitats occurring around the globe, the study found that things largely continue to be just peachy keen for the germs, spores, and tiny little critters of the world.
Key takeaways from the research indicate that in places like swamps, bathrooms, and human mouths, billions upon billions of wee small little creatures are wriggling around aimlessly and swallowing one another, which are basically the two activities they love doing the most. The researchers also cited “compelling statistical evidence” that “if germs had mouths, they would be smiling all the time.”
The study goes on to confirm that things will probably continue to go well for our planet’s tiny little guys, and that the health and safety of organisms like E. coli and amoebas remain largely unaffected by things like the war in Ukraine or America’s struggles with gun violence.
“Even when there is a disaster like a tornado, germs are usually like, ‘whatever,’ and continue cloning themselves and bouncing around inside your belly and the bellies of your family members,” the study’s authors concluded. “These guys, the ones that are too small to see, they’re fine. Don’t worry about them. They’re just tiny, tiny people living their best lives with no stress or hassle.”
This is so great to hear!
In a world where there’s never a shortage of alarming news to be troubled by, it’s incredibly encouraging knowing that things are at least going pretty well at the microscopic level. Here’s hoping the rest of the planet’s living beings can take a cue from these happy little buddies and lead better, more fulfilling lives.
