If you need any more proof that Fahrenheit 451 is becoming a reality in American society, look no further: This Alabama school district just banned the young adult classic Mr. Potato Head’s Guide To Tantric Massage from its libraries.
Absolutely shameful. This book has been cherished by young adult readers for generations!
Earlier this week, Alabama’s Calhoun County School District unanimously voted to pull all copies of Mr. Potato Head’s Guide To Tantric Massage from school libraries, referring to the 2,000-page book’s descriptions of Mr. Potato Head using his removable limbs to perform Tantra on other potatoes as “leftist propaganda.” Written and published in 1996 by a still-unknown author using the pseudonym “Mr. Potato Head (Real),” the canonized YA novel has been singled out by conservative groups across America’s south for “pushing inclusivity, equity, and diversity on impressionable readers, who are unaware that Mr. Potato Head’s eagerness to give erotic massage to anyone – no matter their race, class, gender, sexuality, religion, or disability status – is purely in service of the author’s woke agenda.”
In its decision to remove the book from school libraries, the Calhoun County Board Of Education specifically referenced one passage from the book in which Mr. Potato Head exclaims, “Gee, the Islamic people sure are as generous in Giving massage as they are in Receiving massage! The Muslim community is always welcome in this spud’s Temple Of Ecstasy!” Um…is no one else surprised these Evangelical zealots got triggered by the mere mention of Islam? Sigh.
“If Mr. Potato Head exclusively did Tantra with Christian clients, these right-wing groups wouldn’t be censoring me – they’d be making my book mandatory reading in public schools,” wrote the book’s anonymous author in a statement released through Penguin Publishing Group. “This is a dark day for literature.”
So backwards…our country is doomed, isn’t it? Welp. If you’re a student in Calhoun County, it looks like you’ll have to cross state lines in order to read Mr. Potato Head’s Guide To Tantric Massage, all thanks to ignorance.
