The Red Cross has long been the backbone of the American blood donation system, but it seems like the organization is ready to make a major change regarding which bodily substance they collect: The American Red Cross has announced that while they loved collecting your blood, they are more interested in skin now.
Wow. This is definitely a new leaf for the Red Cross!
Earlier this morning, a press release from the organization revealed that after 140 years of service, The Red Cross is putting blood collection behind them and moving onto skin. The organization clarified that they have thoroughly enjoyed drawing the nation’s blood, but they’re in a “skin phase now,” so they “just want skin.”
“Since our founding in 1881, it’s been our mission to collect and distribute blood, and don’t get us wrong, we loved every minute of it,” said the Red Cross in their statement. “We will never forget the good times we had putting a tube in your arm and pulling blood out through the tube. But enough with blood!!!! We want skin!!!!!!!”
The Red Cross advised prospective donors to “just show up and hand over your skin,” adding, “You had no problem giving us your blood. Now give us your skin.” The statement further explained that they will just “collect a flap of skin or two,” adding that anyone who donates their skin will receive a coupon for a free month of Hulu.
Along with the announcement, the Red Cross debuted the promotional materials of their new campaign:
The organization further clarified that while they still won’t accept any donations from gay people, anyone else is welcome to come give some skin.
Damn. Although this is definitely a new frontier for the Red Cross, it seems like they’re pretty confident in what they’re doing. Visit your local Red Cross donation center ASAP if you’re interested in donating your skin!
