Severely dry and cracked skin isn’t just physically painful—it can make you want to hide from the world, too. Fortunately, one of the top names in skincare is stepping up with a solution that should make dry skin sufferers stand up and cheer: Neutrogena has unveiled an isolated colony where people with chronically dry and irritated skin can go to be with their own kind.
Awesome! And did we mention that the colony is all-new?
According to the statement released earlier today, Neutrogena has established a colony in a remote and currently undisclosed location in Louisiana where people with eczema, psoriasis, or unexplained skin irritation can live together in harmony. Residents will receive an unlimited supply of Neutrogena products, eat according to a low-FODMAP diet, and partake in daily communal lotioning rituals to make sure their fellow residents are moisturized even in hard-to-reach areas. (The brand reassures us that gross sex stuff will not be tolerated and will result in immediate dismissal from the colony.)
“Although dry skin can be a debilitating condition, nobody feels bad for those who suffer from it, and often, people think that those who complain about it are just being babies,” explained Neutrogena. “With this colony, which, by the way, is all-new, we hope to give people with chronically dry skin a place to feel truly accepted, far from the leering eyes of those with normal or oily skin.”
To gain access to the colony, located in one of the most humid regions of the United States, people will need to submit a flake of their skin, which will be evaluated for dryness, scaliness, and ugliness. Will you try to go to this colony? Or do you have a different problem in life? Sound off below either way!
