While it’s still unclear what the candidate pool will look like for the 2020 presidential election, one popular politician just sent what seems to be a pretty strong signal that he’s gearing up to run: Bernie Sanders just slapped Barron Trump in the face and called him a bimbo.
Yep, it’s definitely looking like Bernie’s got his eye on the Oval Office.
The junior senator from Vermont made his presidential aspirations unmistakably clear earlier today when he stormed through the doors of the elite private school where Barron is a student, grabbed the 12-year-old by the collar, and slapped him hard across the face, leaving a bright red handprint on the boy’s right cheek.
“Go suck an egg, bimbo!” barked Sanders as he struck the child, eliciting gasps from onlookers who likely immediately recognized the huge implications the violent gesture would have on the 2020 race. “And tell your old man to suck an egg, too, you piss-licking ignoramus! You ass-brained coward! You long, bald skunk! Why, I oughtta—”
Sanders then tried to slap Barron a second time but was subdued by the boy’s Secret Service detail, which dragged the 77-year-old Democratic Socialist away as he continued to yell belligerently about how the United States of America needs leaders who will work for all people, not just the 1 percent. And though Sanders didn’t go as far as formally announcing a presidential bid, he teased his higher-office ambitions one more time while being carried out of the school, shouting that he would one day convert Barron’s playroom in the White House into a “sauna where I can walk on my elliptical” and that he would “issue an executive order to deport your dead-eyed mother back to Yugoslavia”—exactly the type of bold, forward-thinking rhetoric you’d expect out of someone hoping to become America’s next commander in chief.
Wow. Though we’ve just barely made it past the midterms, it already seems like election season is about to swing back into full gear, and if today’s events are any indication, it looks like it’ll be Bernie Sanders leading the charge on the campaign trail.