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Good God: This Woman Must Not Have Many People In Her Life If You’re One Of Her ‘Close Friends’ On Instagram

Well, if 2020 hadn’t already given you enough things to be depressed about, here’s yet another sad story to kick off your week: this one woman who you haven’t seen in years just added you to her “Close Friends” list on Instagram, which you can only assume means that she doesn’t have that many people in her life. 

God, what a bummer. She’s not even a casual acquaintance anymore, let alone one of your good friends.

If you open up Instagram, you’ll see that this girl’s story icon now has a green circle around it to indicate that you’re one of her Close Friends, even though you only briefly worked with her at a restaurant, like, eight years ago and have not seen her or kept in touch since. You literally have no idea where she lives or what she does for work now, yet for some pitiful reason she’s opted to give you access to her most personal posts, which, to be frank, should probably be reserved for people who actually give a shit about what you’re up to and haven’t gone nearly a decade without ever interacting with you.  

Like, seriously, if she deemed you worthy of a place on her Close Friends list, then who the hell else made the cut? Her landlord? Random strangers who once attended the same wedding as her? Seems like the bar is pathetically low to earn a place in her heart. And even more pathetic, the photo she just uploaded to her story is a bowl of soup that she’s clearly eating by herself, which at this point just serves as further proof that she leads a lonely, isolated existence with no meaningful human connection.

Honestly, now that you think about it, it’s unclear why you would’ve even followed her on Instagram in the first place. You remember her being nice and all, but that doesn’t mean you have any interest in her as a human being. 

This woman should realize that there’s no reason for her to use the Close Friends feature if she’s just going to extend it to people she barely knows. It’s a sad thing to do, and it makes other people sad, too. To make ourselves feel better about this, we’re just going to choose to believe that she labeled you a Close Friend by accident and that she actually has lots of good friends in real life who just aren’t on Instagram. While this is almost certainly not the case, we just don’t need anything else bumming us out right now.