It wouldn’t be a Secret Santa party without ridiculous novelty gifts, but here’s a story of a Secret Santa exchange where a present that was meant to be a gag turned out to be an absolutely perfect gift for its recipient: This guy who got a fleshlight as a joke Secret Santa gift is acting like he’s not going to fuck it the second the party’s over.
Yup, he is 100 percent going to put his penis in it the very first chance he gets.
Upon receiving the sex toy, 28-year-old Jeffrey Aletta acted scandalized and embarrassed, but little did the friend who got it for him know just how hard he knocked it out of the park. “Haha, you guys are too much, what am I even supposed to do with this?” laughed Aletta, neglecting to disclose just how much of a blessing the fleshlight would be to him in his personal life, having strongly considered buying one for himself on multiple occasions in the past but having always held back out of shame.
“Like, how the heck does this thing work?” he continued, knowing deep down exactly how it works but pretending otherwise so as not to seem like the kind of person who would ever consider fucking a fleshlight, even though that’s exactly what he’s going to do the second the final party guest leaves. “Seriously, what an insane gift, Ryan, you’re twisted for this one—thanks, I guess? Haha.”
Aletta then opened up the sex toy’s highly explicit instruction manual and feigned confusion at its contents while secretly internalizing them to aid in his masturbatory endeavors later on in the evening.
“Apparently the silicone is ‘molded from Riley Reid’s vagina?’ Is she, like, a porn star or something?,” asked Jeffrey, completely aware of pornographic actress Riley Reid and much of her work. He then made a joke about how he could perhaps repurpose it as a vase or something or even regift it to his parents, strategically downplaying his keen interest in the synthetic genital device that will in the coming weeks receive well over a pint of his ejaculations.
“Hey, anyone wanna trade gifts? Haha,” joked Jeffrey to further establish his disinterest while actually hoping with all of his heart that no one took him up on the offer and wrested away his free ticket to non-stop onanistic pleasure. “No? Okay, guess I’m stuck with this thing.”
He then discreetly hid the fleshlight behind a throw pillow so people would forget about it and not try to take it from him, counting down the minutes until the party ended so he could lock himself in his bedroom, get down on his knees, and ravenously eat out the Pocket Pussy while drooling all over his chin and chest.
Sounds like he is extremely horny!
Raunchy gift aside, it’s times like these with friends and loved ones that make the holidays so special. And if Aletta can successfully hang onto the fleshlight for the remainder of the party, then it sounds like he’s gonna have himself the best Christmas ever.
