Well, this is certainly brutal to watch: Jimmy Carter’s spirit keeps starting to ascend to heaven but then getting frightened back into his body by flocks of honking geese.
Oof. Yep, this is not something most people want to deal with at the end of their lives.
While it has been obvious for quite some time the 99-year-old former President Carter is not long for this world, it seems he has hit a roadblock in his ascension to the afterlife: Whenever Mr. Carter’s soul floats up out of his body, through the roof of his house, and into the sky, a big flock of honking geese happens by, startling his spirit and causing it to whoosh right back down into his earthly form. This horrible predicament has been going on for weeks now, and Mr. Carter’s family and caregivers have been forced to watch in despair as his soul plays a relentless game of cat-and-mouse with various flocks of migrating waterfowl.
Every time Mr. Carter’s soul’s flight gets interrupted, the soul appears to become more terrified, and it cowers inside his mortal shell for an even longer period of time after each failed attempt. Then, once Mr. Carter’s soul finally regains its composure and begins to gently waft up towards eternal life, it is once again forced to dart back down into his body by a bunch of boomingheav Canada geese or, on one occasion, a vintage military plane with a scary face painted on it.
Jeesh, geese. Just let Jimmy Carter’s spirit go up to heaven where it belongs.
If you’re a goose hunter, you might want to think about hunting around Jimmy Carter’s place right now to help thin out the constant swarm of geese scaring the crap out of his poor soul as it attempts to make its final journey. Otherwise, their loud honks will no doubt force his easily frightened soul to stay trembling inside his body for the foreseeable future. Hang in there, Mr. Carter. We pray those geese will be out of your soul’s way soon and you’ll finally be able to rest.
