Let’s face it: There’s only a limited amount of time per day that your caffeine levels are right, your distractions are at a minimum, and you’re sitting down ready to actually get some work done. That’s why the following story is such a bummer to hear: This woman just wasted the best burst of energy she was going to have all day trying to figure out whether Mindy Kaling is on Ozempic.
Aw. This is just so heartbreaking.
About an hour after getting to her office, just as her second cup of coffee was kicking in, 33-year-old Catherine Erickson totally blew her chances of making headway on her actual work assignments when, instead of opening Excel, she googled “mindy kaling ozempic.” Though Catherine should’ve channeled her motivation toward the job she was being paid to do, she instead put it all toward flipping back and forth between photos of The Office star from 2015 and photos of her now, carefully looking for clues that might point to whether Mindy lost the weight naturally or with the help of a drug.
As Catherine quickly bounced from Twitter threads speculating that Mindy was the first celebrity to start the Ozempic craze, to interviews where Mindy denies that she’s ever done anything to lower her weight beyond diet and exercise, to TikTok videos from “board-certified” physicians arguing that the changes to Mindy’s facial bone structure are medically impossible without taking a GLP-1 agonist, she experienced a flow state that wasn’t even interrupted by her coworker’s loud phone call with her middle school-aged son. But as Catherine’s energy levels began to wane, she realized that no matter how many blind items she reads from people claiming to know for sure that Mindy’s on Ozempic, until Mindy says so herself, it’s a moot point.
Not only did Catherine fail to learn the truth about Mindy’s situation, but her best brain power of the day is totally gone, too. What a bummer.
Although Catherine managed to finish the task she could’ve knocked out during that power hour over the remainder of the six-hour workday, the numerous mistakes she made probably could’ve been avoided if she hadn’t used all that energy googling Mindy Kaling. Oh well! Still got that paycheck anyway!
