1. Stood in a circle and took turns wearing the same condom

2. Ding-dong ditched someone while sporting huge boners

3. Wore each other’s underwear on your heads and smiled

4. Waited for your dad to finish taking a bath and then immediately drank all the bathwater, even though your dad explicitly told you guys not to

5. Showed your bare butts to the statue at the Lincoln Memorial until an alarm started going off

6. Measured each other’s cock holes

7. Started the wave in a Best Buy

8. Showed your penises to one of Google’s A.I. supercomputers so that it would learn about penises and share that knowledge with all the other supercomputers

9. Got together and read the Wikipedia article for pubic hair by candlelight

10. Put on wigs and learned how to French braid on each other

11. Went into a grocery store and each bought enough cabbage so that the grocery store was temporarily out of cabbage

12. Enlisted in the U.S. Army together and then all secretly had boners for the entire three years you were deployed in Iraq

13. Went into LensCrafters together and tried on a bunch of different glasses, even though you had no intention of buying any

14. Staged a flash mob at the library where you all got boners at the exact same time

15. Baptized each other and made a great commotion while doing so

16. Rode around in a trolly chanting “USA! USA!” for 63 hours straight

17. Took turns incubating an endangered baby condor under your ballsacks until it was strong enough to survive on its own, then trained it to steal underwear from your dad

18. Took turns asking a magic 8-ball if it ever gets boners

19. Played Pass The Peanut, a game where you stand in a line and pass a peanut from one person’s asshole to the next until each person has had held the peanut in their asshole, and once it gets to the last guy he squats down and lays it like an egg into a manger, and then everyone gets down on their knees and worships the peanut, pretending it is the newborn Christ

20. Charged into the ocean and urinated on some corral together until the corral died

21. Pooled your votes to get a jackass elected comptroller

22. Sewed all your ballsacks together and pretended like you hadn’t noticed when you went to the pediatrician for your annual physical

23. All got naked and hunted a golden retriever for its meat

24. One by one used the same pair of clippers to shave the Reebok logo into your pubic hair, then all went to the Nike store and showed one of the employees the Reebok logos as a razz

25. Took two Viagras a piece and then did team-building activities

26. Used up all the mobility scooters at Walmart, leaving numerous large guests stranded on the floor at the entrance

27. Became eunuchs and started a eunuch gang

28. Trapped a year’s worth of your farts into a single Tupperware container and then donated it to the Wounded Warriors Project

29. Got naked at the bottom of an above-ground pool and waited for the pool-cleaning robot to come around and clean off the homemade lasagna you’d all smeared on your genitals

30. Chased a police horse into a storm drain while trying to smooch it

31. All went to the same focus group for Bit-O-Honey and gave the Bit-O-Honey representatives a grossly distorted impression of how enthusiastic young people are about Bit-O-Honey

32. Got into a circle, squatted down, and started furiously doing kegels together until one of you finally succeeded in menstruating

33. Went to a clearing in the woods and all got naked, then proceeded to point your boners at God