Boy, what an exciting NFL season we all just got to witness! I don’t think anyone expected the Super Bowl to be the blowout that it was, but regardless of how dominant the Eagles ended up being in the end, it’s definitely an exciting time to be a football fan! And one thing’s for sure: Seeing the quality of some of the talent out there on the field this season really made it clearer than ever that if the Middle East doesn’t get its shit together soon, they’re never going to win a Super Bowl!
It seems like not a day goes by that I don’t see some awful headline about the Middle East: Bombings this, hostages that, nuclear this, rockets that…the great Chuck Noll must be rolling in his grave watching all of that nonsense going on over there and wondering if even he could whip that mess into shape! I’ve always believed that any team can win, but I don’t think there’s a football fan out there right now who’s looking at the Middle East and all of the malarky that’s going down over there and thinking, “Yeah, I think these guys have a shot at winning the Super Bowl.” I don’t give a crap how big of a fan of the Middle East you are, no one in their right mind thinks they’ve got even a pie in the sky shot at taking home the Lombardi trophy anytime soon!
Look, I understand that football is a violent game, and the Middle East has violence in spades. But there’s more to a successful legacy in the greatest sport in the world than leveling city blocks and beheading civilian captives. You need a solid coaching staff. You need discipline. You need an actionable, resilient, long-term plan for a ceasefire that benefits all sides and leads to a prosperous peace. And I’m just not seeing that out of the Middle East right now. Frankly, the place is in shambles and has been for a long time! Let’s get it together and win some games here, boys!
Could Nick Sirianni or Andy Reid go over there and work with those guys and help them get their shit together? Now, these men are great coaches, but honestly, I think their talents would be wasted on the absolute shitshow that the Middle East is right now. What could those guys do that the UN Special Rapporteur hasn’t already tried? What new protocols could they explore that the 1993 Resolution from the Committee of Human Rights didn’t already put in place? For the Middle East to have a shot at the Super Bowl, the entire culture over there needs to be rebuilt from the ground up! All of the religious conflict needs to be replaced with football fundamentals and all of the deep-seated ethnic grievances need to be replaced with an inviting team culture. I’m afraid this doesn’t appear to be as much a coaching issue as it is a Middle East issue, as these same problems keep rearing their ugly heads no matter what leadership is in place over there. It’s a damn mess, and if things don’t change soon, no Super Bowl for you!
Look, I may not know how to make a marriage work. I’ve had my bell rung out on the field more times than I can count. But I know football. And, simply put, I don’t see the Middle East in its current state even getting to the Super Bowl, much less winning it. And you can chisel that sucker in stone.
