Prepare to be wowed, because this is the most uplifting thing we’ve heard in a long time: This man is incredibly competitive despite sucking at basically everything.
Yes! What an inspiration to us all!
Thirty-four-year-old options trader Martin Pollard may not excel at sports, know much trivia, understand board game strategy, or be particularly strong, fit, or healthy, but he doesn’t let those facts get in the way of being competitive to the point of being sort of an asshole about it. Martin can’t see a dartboard, pool table, or strength challenge game in a bar without immediately demanding his friends, dates, or even strangers take him on, despite losing badly every single time. He’s never learned his lesson and probably never will.
While most competitive people are like that because they are actually skilled enough at things to win them, Martin is a rare exception to that rule. This impressive hero is laughably uncoordinated and never played any kind of organized sports in high school or college or anything, but he always wants to play chess or basketball or shuffleboard against his roommates anyway. Every time he challenges someone, he talks smack like he’s going to win, loses handily, and then storms off and starts yelling that the win was “cheap” or “lucky.” Even better, every time there’s a debate over some trivial fact, like when a movie came out or who sang a certain song, Martin will arrogantly and confidently give a completely wrong answer (like when he recently insisted that the first Star Wars movie came out in 1969), and then continue to dispute it even after someone verifies he was wrong using Wikipedia.
Wow. It’s so refreshing to see someone like Martin set an example for the rest of us that you don’t need to be particularly good at anything to be competitive about it to the point of being a dick.
Martin’s mind-blowing commitment to thinking he’s good at things that he’s terrible at is only getting stronger by the day, because he, a man who can barely ice skate, just signed up for a recreational hockey league. Yes, it appears no amount of having his ass handed to him on a daily basis is going to cause him to wise up to reality, even if there’s a risk of serious injury. We could all learn a thing or two from Martin and his steadfastly delusional spirit.
