We’re gonna need you to make some fucking noise, because our mid-afternoon reading session is about to POP THE FUCK OFF: This chapter is one paragraph.
BOOYAH! Time to read the fucking shit out of this thing!!!
We’ll admit, those long-ass chapters we just finished reading really had us on the ropes. After all those pages of dense, information-heavy prose, we weren’t sure we had it in us to finish another chapter of our book today. But just as we were about to reach for that bookmark with our tail between our legs, we flipped the page over and saw it—our hope; our salvation; our oasis in the desert—a succinct, pert little rectangle of a chapter consisting entirely of one footnote-free paragraph.
God knows we needed a shorter chapter right about now, but to get one so brief the next chapter starts on the same goddamn page has exceeded even our wildest expectations. It’s as though the book’s author saw our drooping eyelids through some mystical sort of future sight and said, “Hey bud, here’s a nice quick chapter to serve as a pitstop for that fucked up little attention span of yours.” No lengthy dialogues. No elaborate set pieces. Just a short, sweet burst of undiluted plot advancement that hits so good we’re surprised nobody’s made it illegal yet.
Can we get a “HELL FUCKIN’ YES” for this bad boy?
Honestly, this one-paragraph chapter has got us so fucking revved up we might go ahead and read ANOTHER chapter after we finish it. Shit, we might finish the whole goddamn book with this momentum—no, let’s make it a whole fucking library! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WHEN BOOKS ARE INTERSPERSED WITH CHAPTERS OF LESS-THAN-TYPICAL LENGTH!!!
Alright, it’s fucking game time. Kudos to this book’s author for coming through with a short chapter exactly when we needed it most!
