Well, well, well! It looks like the Mud Hens of Fanwood, Iowa’s youth baseball league have themselves a bonafide Mr. Moneybags on their roster: This little league player has Gatorade instead of water.
Check out Richie Rich, with his 28 oz. Riptide Rush Gatorade. That thing probably cost his parents, what, $4, maybe even $5 after tax these days? Must be nice!
Though every other pee wee player on his team either has their own refillable water bottle or is drinking out of the cooler jug their coach brought, shortstop Bennett Dougherty, 8, apparently comes from a family of means, judging by that big Gatorade he’s got with him in the dugout. Next to his teammates’ water, that neon blue Gatorade might as well be a gold placard reading “Class Signifier.” It’s also the larger kind of Gatorade bottle too, a whole size-up from the normal 16 oz. ones, like, the kid’s literally using both hands to get it to his mouth. Hey, no judgment here—if the Doughertys have the type of money that lets their kid experience the finer things in life, like going up to bat with a belly full of Gatorade instead of tap water and ice from the team cooler jug, good for them! Who wouldn’t want that luxury for their kid?
This isn’t some Kirkland, wholesale Gatorade-rip-off sports drink either. This kid’s got name-brand Gatorade. No expenses spared for Bennett, huh?
The Gatorade’s not the only indicator that Bennett was raised to have expensive taste: he’s also got ranch-flavored sunflower seeds, which, sure, are the same price as the regular kind that the other players have, but in tandem with the Gatorade, it’s just further proof that Bennett’s palette won’t be satisfied by the humble, plain old salted sunflower seeds that his other teammates are making do with.
Kid’s parents are probably going to buy him a hot pretzel from the concession stand after the game, too. Just watch.
What a sight the Mud Hens’ dugout is right now, with Prince Bennett savoring a delicious Cool Blue Gatorade among water-sipping paupers. Hey, in the end, if Gatorade helps Bennett “One Percenter” Dougherty make some plays today, then it’s a win for the whole team. Let’s see if all those premium-brand electrolytes and sugar pays off on the field, because his folks certainly shelled out for ‘em!
