No matter how good some people have it in life, they insist on seeing the glass half-empty instead of half-full. Case in point: All of this woman’s songs are sad even though she is dating the hot guy from Normal People.
Alright, Debbie Downer. If that’s how you want to be, so be it.
For whatever reason, it seems that going home to the really hot Irish guy from Normal People every night is just not enough for this woman, whose attitude is so negative she can’t manage to write even one song where she seems remotely happy. Despite the fact that she gets to ask her boyfriend about what it was like bringing one of Sally Rooney’s amazing novels to life any time she wants and gets to hear awesome stories from her boyfriend about all the ins and outs of working for Hulu, Little Miss Glum over here insists on sporting a 24/7 sourpuss and bringing anyone who listens to her music down with her.
Her boyfriend probably even got to meet Sally Rooney! He probably got a free Hulu sweatshirt that she can borrow whenever she wants! What the heck is she always complaining for?
While you’d think that dating someone who’s so hot that he’s known as “the hot guy from Normal People” would inspire songs titled “My Boyfriend (He’s Very Hot)” or “Having A Sexy Boyfriend From The Sally Rooney Show Is Awesome,” instead, this woman’s songs are mainly about crying, failing to live in the moment, wanting to kill someone in Kyoto, reflections on lost love, someone getting killed at a baseball stadium, or once again failing to live in the moment. Hopefully her boyfriend doesn’t catch wind of these oppressively bleak songs, because if he hears them, he might end up thinking she’s sad because of him!
SMDH. She even got so sad that she smashed her guitar while performing on Saturday Night Live! Watch it, Negative Nancy, you probably bummed out Kenan!
Plus, this woman is such a downer that she insists on performing in this scary, upsetting costume:
Even though someone with such a fine piece of arm candy who probably smells like Hulu headquarters should be performing in an awesome, happy costume like this:
C’mon lady! Why don’t you take a hint from Snoopy and turn that frown upside down!
As if this whole mess wasn’t confusing enough, this woman even teamed up to make sadder songs with a guy who has been making depressing songs for like 20 years, even though that guy’s music has been featured on Chuck, Bones, Gossip Girl, Crashing, and The O.C.! A really good episode of The O.C. too—well no, not the one where Marissa shoots Trey, but the Christmukkah episode, which is still really cool! If our music had been featured in that episode, we’d only ever write songs about smiling and feeling incredible for the rest of our lives.
What the heck is wrong with these pessimists?! Everyone has their bad days, but let’s not forget to look for the silver linings, people!
Look, lady. It’s time to knock that chip off your shoulder and start realizing how good you’ve got it! After all, no one likes a cynic. Here’s hoping this woman realizes how lucky she is to have a boyfriend who can tell her what it was like pretending to be a working class Irishman named Connell and starts cheering up soon!
