The human species has changed countless times since it first began to evolve, and it can be fascinating to look back at history and see just how much we’ve grown from our primitive origins. Take for instance the fact that 10 years ago, humans would have waited in line for 13 hours to taste a bacon cupcake.
Wow. It’s truly thrilling to consider how earlier humans used to live!
To truly understand why these primordial humans would subject themselves to the elements just for a taste of a maple flavored cupcake with a piece of bacon on top, you must remember that to humans in the dark ages of the early 2010s, bacon was everything. People would load up their home with fake bacon plushies or buy books of poetry about bacon from Urban Outfitters, and comedians could go viral by merely tweeting the word “bacon,” which, amazingly, was even considered a funny joke. And so, for these less-advanced humans of 2012, waiting in a line all day while discussing the new Gotye single to eat a normal cupcake topped with a one-inch piece of bacon was huge.
Of course, to the average person in 2022, a bacon cupcake—or any of its derivatives, like the rainbow bagel, the cronut, or the bourbon milkshake—is not only not worth waiting in a long line to eat, but something not worth eating at all. Maybe, just to get a taste of the past, someone will tack on one of these now-passé desserts to their UberEats order of a plant-based protein bowl, but it’s far more likely that, much like hunting for your own food or walking on all fours, waiting 13 hours for a bacon cupcake is simply a lost custom of humanity’s distant past, a strange and alien practice whose full meanings and motivations might never be fully understood.
How truly interesting. Although the sight of something like a bacon-encrusted sundae may be nauseating to us now, knowing how appetizing these things were to the millennials in ancient times is a key to understanding our roots.
