The world just got a whole lot safer today, and it’s all thanks to a forward-thinking company’s ingenious new invention: Kohler just introduced a new toilet that requires the user to pass a breathalyzer test.
Brilliant. This is going to save so many lives!
Despite countless PSAs warning Americans that drinking and toilets don’t mix, alcohol-related toilet fatalities have seen an alarming rise over the last 10 years, with almost 31% of deaths in the bathroom involving at least one drunk individual. But after multiple high-profile tragedies last year, including the death of an 18-year-old Ole Miss student in a late night, single-toilet incident, Wisconsin-based manufacturer Kohler has decided that enough is enough. Now they’ve introduced the Kohler IntoxiStop safety toilet, a first-of-its-kind bathroom fixture that requires hard proof of a BAC under the legal limit before users are cleared to go.
The IntoxiStop’s revolutionary design locks its lid in a closed position by default, opening only after the user blows into an attached tube and registers a blood alcohol level of below .08% (.05% in Utah). Failing the breathalyzer will lock users out of attempting to use the toilet again for 30 minutes, and an advanced biometric ID system will prevent drunk users from simply asking a sober friend to unlock the toilet for them. Once unlocked, the device will require users to keep submitting breath samples intermittently throughout their sit to ensure continuous sobriety, though the IntoxiStop will only relock itself after the user has stood up and flushed to avoid the obvious hazards of a toilet suddenly becoming inoperable mid-session.
Honestly, states should start making this kind of thing mandatory on all toilets.
“A person can be well over the limit but still mistakenly believe they’re good to get above the bowl, so we created the IntoxiStop to take that judgment call out of their hands,” said Kohler’s chief toilet safety engineer Victoria Schwarz, adding that Kohler has already released the patent so other plumbing companies can follow suit and make lid interlock systems a standard toilet feature. “If you’re impaired and really can’t hold it until you sober up, remember that you can always just call yourself a cab and go to the bathroom in that. Safety absolutely has to come first around toilets. If you get on one drunk, it could end up being the last dump you’ll ever take.”
Wow, this is such a great innovation. Kudos to Kohler for refusing to accept any more senseless tragedies in the bathroom!
