Here’s a story about someone who found it within himself to step up and take one for the team despite knowing he was setting himself up for a truly miserable experience: This man was the one who had to go out and select the birthday card everyone in the office had to sign.
What an incredible act of selflessness. Hopefully his coworkers realize what a sacrifice he just made.
Soon after Keith Garvey of Boston, MA arrived at work earlier this morning, he received a Slack message from his boss that was sent to a group of all but one of his coworkers that read, “Today is Shannon’s birthday.” And while one of his coworkers was quick to respond, “Should we get her a card?” and another was quick to say, “Yes,” the long period of time that followed without anyone else responding made it very clear that while everyone agreed they should get her a card, no one wanted to do the terrible chore of having to shlep over to the store and buy one. Finally, though, after what felt like hours but was probably just 15 seconds, Keith courageously took it upon himself to volunteer to buy the card, even though there were several people in the office who were much better friends with Shannon and definitely should’ve taken the lead on this one.
While Keith would’ve loved to stay inside and eat his lunch in the kitchen like everyone else, he had to head out to Walgreens, where, because there isn’t a greeting card category for “coworker’s birthday,” he had to search through birthday cards with crude jokes that seemed overly fraternal and cards with big flowers and cursive fonts that seemed weirdly austere. After looking at dozens of cards that seemed like they’d be blank inside but instead said something weird like “To my beautiful loved one,” Keith managed to find a card with some donuts on the front that said “Donut have a bad birthday—have a great one!” on the inside, which was stupid, but ultimately inoffensive enough for the occasion.
Despite the fact that Keith had already done way more than anyone else, it was unfortunately now his duty to make sure everyone in the office signed the card, a task that, while seemingly small, somehow took up, like, two fucking hours. Everyone gave at least a little bit of their time to sign the card, but it was Keith who gave the most—he made the ultimate sacrifice. And although Keith’s boss let him know that he could get reimbursed for buying the card if he completed the necessary paperwork, the fact that the card was only $5.75 made it too cheap to be worth filling out the forms, while also just expensive enough to be kind of annoying.
What a good sport.
Here’s to you, Keith. You had no idea what this day had in store for you, but you absolutely rose to the occasion. You are a rockstar employee, and here’s hoping your heroic deed earns you a raise.
