Aging may be a fact of life, but that doesn’t make its side effects any less disturbing. As if the joint pain, poor eyesight, heart disease, and memory problems associated with middle age weren’t horrific enough, here’s a symptom of getting older that may be the most worrisome of them all: This 46-year-old man has a favorite type of bucket.
Yikes. Apparently getting older can be rough as hell.
The man in question, cargo pilot Roger Post, still hits the gym, has most of his hair, and dresses relatively cool, so he doesn’t appear much worse for wear than he did in his thirties. That is, with one major exception: As soon as he hit his mid-forties, he developed a strong preference for a certain brand of bucket. Now, Roger not only constantly recommends the Taskpro Model B 5-gallon bucket to his friends and family, but also recently “standardized” his entire bucket collection to his preferred brand of pail, donating his old collection of inferior buckets to Habitat for Humanity.
Roger still makes his wife, Sarah, laugh and has no aging-related issues with his libido or sexual functioning—so his marriage might seem age-proof if it weren’t for the fact that Roger spends at least several minutes each day ranting to Sarah about what he considers to be lesser brands of buckets. Sarah must really feel her husband’s age when he launches yet into another one of his boring explanations of bucket quality, saying, “You really get what you pay for when if comes to buckets. The Taskpros might cost more, but they hold up to a lot more abuse than those store brand buckets. Try using a Menards bucket in sub-zero temperatures without it cracking. The advanced polymers in the Taskpro are basically indestructible, and I love the way the foam-covered handle feels in the hand while lugging a heavy load.”
Oof. A mere two years ago, Roger was getting tattoos and hanging out at local metal shows, but now he’s the type of guy who absolutely would wear a hat displaying the logo of his favorite brand of bucket if bucket brands made hats. There’s truly a night-and-day difference between Roger then and now, bucket-wise, despite only a short amount of time passing. It’s as if as soon as he hit 45 a switch flipped in his brain that caused him to start bragging to friends about meeting the CEO of his favorite bucket company at a trade convention.
Dear God. Is this man 46 or 106? Based on his strong preference for a particular bucket, we seriously can’t tell.
Seeing Roger establish his strong preference for one type of bucket over others like this is a reminder to embrace your youth and indifference to buckets you use while you still can. Life goes by fast, and sadly, before you know it you could be spending 35 minutes comparing buckets at Home Depot just like Roger.
