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There’s Still Time: You Could Probably Get A PhD In…Something…

Look, your life may not be going the way you want it to, and sometimes it might feel like you’re stuck in a permanent rut. But instead of just throwing in the towel and resigning yourself to 50 or 60 more years of disappointment and misery, you should know that there are still some ways you could turn things around. For example, you could probably go get your…PhD…in…something?

Not sure in what, exactly, but it seems kinda doable, right? 

This is America, and there’s opportunity for everyone here, so if your current job isn’t making you happy, there are steps you can take to make things better. Like, for instance, go online and take a look at some…colleges…and see if any of them have any PhD programs that seem…not too hard…and are willing to grant you admission despite your limited skills/knowledge/experience. Obviously not, like, math or computer science or anything super brainy like that, because you can’t really just drop into those without any prior knowledge…and not English literature or philosophy, since you’re, like, way behind the curve there. But how about the other ones? Like…sociology? Or…one of those types of things? Doesn’t that give you hope? You might be sitting on your couch, thinking about how you wish you could afford a better apartment, and do something with your life that really matters, not the meaningless, low-paying monkey work you’ve been stuck doing thus far. Well, the good news is that that’s possible…you just have to find a school…and get a PhD in…sociology…and then do sociology research for a living…or something.

If you can believe it, you can achieve it! A brighter future begins today!

Once you have an advanced degree, the world opens up to you. You can probably teach somewhere (not necessarily where you live now, obviously, but somewhere), or you can even…figure out another…project. All you have to do is get your grad school application together, and explain how even though the past several years have been a struggle for you, you know that…Baylor University?…will look past your lackluster educational background and set you on some sort of…path. Just imagine: Six years from now, you walk across the graduation stage at Baylor, or maybe some other school that’s not as good…whatever you can get into…and you receive your doctoral degree in…maybe American history? And then you’ll have your whole life ahead of you, to study American History, and sort of do that kind of thing, which will presumably be incredibly fulfilling.

Your life could probably be a lot better!

Trust us: You shouldn’t give up on yourself. You have so much potential, and all you need to do is put it to use. You can definitely get a PhD in something or other…if you try…so try, now! This is definitely the answer to all your problems…or at least we think it is…hopefully that is the case.